Keep Em In Check

So Michael Vick is going to jail. I've seen a lot of athletes blow it, but never have I seen someone with this much potential blow it this big. He TOTALLY F'ed up big time, and he screwed my fantasy team too.

I love watching people debate this issue too. There's the people who hate him, the people who support him, and my favorite - the people who are trying to figure him out.

"Why would he do what he did?"

I'm about to tell you why he did what he did. Are you ready? Here it comes...............

(Drum roll sfx)............................ He did it because...................... Ok I'm milking it, I'll tell you - His Boys!

It's that simple. His boys killed his career, just like Pacman Jones' boys killed his career. And I'm saying "boys" because I'm talking about dudes here, it could apply to a female celebrity and her friends too.

Look, everyone has "pain in the ass boys" in their circle of friends. Friends who somehow seem to get by without ever really having to take responsibility for anything. It's a fact of life. I'm not gonna lie, they're fun to hang with. They're funny and always down to party. That's fine. I'm not saying to cut them off, but put their ass in check every once in a while. I mean damn, I'm on the freakin radio. That makes me high profile once a year - on the Ramiro and Pebbles Boat Cruise. But there's even times that I might get invited somewhere by my friends and pass. Why? Because I know how they are. Or if I do end up hangin I put them in check. They might not have anything to lose, but I do. If they don't like it then I'm not hangin. And I'm a schmuck!!!!

Don't even put me in Mike Vick's or any other high profile athlete's shoes. I'd probably get a whole new group of friends. It's not about "not keeping it real" it's about growing up.

C'mon Mike, did you really need to invest in a dogfighting operation? How about investing in a mutual fund, or doing like every rapper on the planet and starting your own clothing line? I doubt you went to a financial advisor for that advice.

So now YOU'RE boned and your "pain in the ass boys are doing what they did before - getting by. Nice job.

By the way, a lot of people were upset because of Mike Vick's role model/hero status. If that's you, then you need to check yourself. The guy is really fast and can throw a football really far, that's it. It's not like he was out there saving lives. Actually, it's DEFINITELY NOT like he was out there saving lives. He's a football player, just like David Ortiz is a baseball player. He provided probably the most exciting moment of my life as a baseball fan, but that's all. I don't ever recall watching the details of a tragic fire on the news and thinking "Only if David were there to save them...."

Ok, I gotta go. There's another Michael Vick debate on TV.

Thanks for reading.

Notice Me!!!


Why can't rich people just be rich? Why do Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie,

Kim Kardashian and all those other people who are ALREADY all set trying
to be celebrities too?

1st of all, they're not good at anything. But I totally understand that.

If you've been handed everything that you've ever wanted and stuff that

you didn't even know existed from Day One, why would you be good at

anything? You have no reason to try.  But NOOOO, they all want to be Rich AND Famous. They want to be recognized and idolized. The only thing is they don't exactly know how to reach that fame since, once again, they're not good at anything.

So......they make sex tapes and do reality shows??

I don't know about you but I don't exactly idolize anybody on a reality

show. Alright, I'm not gonna lie - I am impressed by the guys on "The Real World" who end up banging

2 different female roomates, get caught by both, and still end up

casually banging at least 1 of them for the entire season. But do I envy

them? Nah.

If I had the choice of being rich and famous, famous and poor, or rich

and completely unknown, it would take me about 2 tenths of a second to

pick the 3rd. It's perfect! I would even take it a step further - not

only would I be unknown, I'd be unseen. The only time you might see me

would be at sporting events, cause I would buy season tickets to the Red

Sox, Patriots, and Celtics (they'll be good eventually). I'd get Bruins

and Revolution tickets too, just because I could. Do we have a Lacrosse

team? If not, I'd buy one and get tickets to that too. So basically if

you did recognize me, it would be in the way of "There's the Puerto

Rican with the pancake ass again".

The one place you wouldn't see me is on TV. Hell No! I wouldn't even

want famous friends. Rich friends, yes. Famous friends, nope.

The thing that these dopes don't understand is that people don't just

love to love famous people. They love to love and HATE famous people,

and when you're someone who became famous for no particular reason,

you're more often than not going to be hated. If they want to be famous and idolized - hire ass kissers with cameras.

Hell, they're loaded. They can go the extra step and create their own

personal magazines and tabloids that talk about how great they are and

have it dispersed around their house. Then hire someone to do an

interview with them and play it on their TV at 7:30 and pretend it's on

Extra. There's a million ways to be rich and famous, without actually

being famous.

I'm going to hire myself out as a "How to be famous without making a sex

tape, getting arrested, or making your parents wish they used birth

control" consultant.

Is that a good way to get rich?

Thanks for reading.

- Ramiro

Defending Radio


Radio's been getting a lot of crap lately, A LOT of crap. It all started with Don Imus getting fired for his "blankie headed blanks" comment and just went downhill from there. Another show in New York, "Elvis And JV" prank called a Chinese restaurant and was fired, and the "Opie And Anthony" show was suspended for something a homeless guy said on their show.

Before I go on, you're probably thinking "You're in radio Ramiro. Of course you're going to defend your people." Damn right I am!

Look, I'm not condoning what was said or done on these shows. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I'm going to defend it.

I can see why people were offended, but if you think that any of these shows said "Hey, let's go on next and just start trashing the (fill in the blank) because I hate those people", you're 100% wrong.

The beauty of radio is that it's REAL. Not "executive produced by the people starring in it, taped, edited, and run at a later date, TV reality show" real. I'm talking about "Happening in Real time with Real people and Real reactions" real. It's not always pretty, but it's real.

Just like Television though, each show is made for a certain target audience. The ironic thing about the people who complained about these shows is that they weren't part of their audience. Now you can argue and say that anybody who can listen to the radio is the audience and that's valid, but you're not everybody's target audience. That would be the equivalent of me seeing something I don't like on Lifetime and complaining about it. I have Lifetime, but I'm not a member of the Lifetime audience, so if I did see something I didn't like I just wouldn't watch. The people who complained about what they heard on these shows and lobbied to take them off the air were NOT typical listeners who heard something super offensive on their favorite show, they were people who were listening to those shows looking for something to complain about. Another analogy - That would be like someone who doesn't like Italian Food eating at an Italian Restaurant and complaining about the food!

I'd like to believe that my show is for everybody, but if I tried to satisfy everybody my head would explode. Everybody has different tastes.

I do my show for people who want to laugh during their morning commute, but not everyone wants that. Some people want hard news and hard discussions about serious topics. I don't do that. But believe it or not, I could get in trouble if one of those people happened to flip on the show, hear a piece of a conversation that we're having, and then decide that they don't like what they're hearing. How idiotic is that??

I'm not saying that EVERYONE in radio is innocent. There are some douchebags. But there are douchebags everywhere, and there will ALWAYS be douchebags everywhere, no matter what we do.

I'm not even saying that I have an answer. All I know is that in Television we have Political shows, Comedies, Crime Dramas, Kids Shows, Sports, and more, but Radio seems to be lumped under 1 umbrella. That's not fair. If I see something violent on a Disney Channel show I'd complain of course, but should I do the same if I see something like that happen on a show like The Sopranos?? Of course not.

There's a beautiful little button on my radio and I've seen it on many others too. It's called the Tuner. I think people should try using that more.

One more thing - I get emails all the time from parents saying something that sounds like "Ramiro, you have kids. Would you let them listen to your show?"

No, I wouldn't.

Thanks for reading.

- Ramiro